


Precursor Steve and Kaiju Coder Bill - or - the One Where We were Precursors

by IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou



Series: (Help) [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Don't have to read Effort first, Fluff, M/M, Meta, Newt is absurd, a bit of sad because I must, but I'd really like if you read Effort, post possession recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 16:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou/pseuds/IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou
Summary: Newt regales a begrudging Hermann with tales of their alternate universe selves, glimpsed in his drifts with Alice long ago. Hermann only half pays attention, until Newt tells a tale so absurd, he really must protest.





	Precursor Steve and Kaiju Coder Bill - or - the One Where We were Precursors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Avelera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avelera/gifts).



 

It was 2038 of the Worst Timeline. Where Newt had tried to end the world, and Hermann had well and truly descended to the depths of moral compromise to save him. 

But they fixed it. And they got better. Little by little.

On the macro scale, their world and every other earth like it was well on its way to recovery. On the micro scale, the Hermann and Newt native to this (the worst) timeline were trying their best to recover, and make up for lost time. Of course there were good days and there were bad days. There was therapy (for both of them), and there were night terrors and intrusive thoughts (also for both of them), and the complex never-ending task to untangle reality from the intricate lies fed to them by the Precursors.

Recovery was painful and long and difficult, but finally, for the first consistent period in their lives, they had each other. 

And they did their best. Yet occasionally despite those efforts, they didn’t always understand each other’s coping mechanisms. Newton’s oversharing, for example, made Herman particularly discomfited. 

When he had been trapped under precursor influence, drifting with “Alice” had frequently taken the form of what they now knew to be a frantic search, using Newton’s connection with all the other versions of himself to spy. Newt had seen a confusing, colorful myriad of selves. Different lives that could have been his if things had been different. 

Now he seemed to delight in sharing the most absurd universes he had glimpsed from his drifts with Alice. It had made Hermann profoundly uncomfortable at first. This consistent reminder of a time Hermann had failed him over and over and over. But eventually he came to assume that, while it wasn’t easy for him to hear the details, it was therapeutic in a way for Newt to share them. And that, Hermann decided, he must prioritize above his own slight discomfort. 

“Did I tell you about the one where we’re medieval bakers?”

Newt would say out of the blue. And Hermann would know that he was in for a long story.

“Did I tell you about the one where we’re cryptid hunters? That’s a good one.”

Hermann sometimes suspected that Newt was making them up. But he never asked. Instead he sat there patiently as Newt told him about the universe where they went to grade school in Germany together, or the one where vampires were real and one of them was an Ancient and the other was sworn to kill him.

“Did I ever tell you that in another universe we’re Precursors?” They were in bed on a dull Tuesday night. Hermann was enjoying a cup of tea and reading an article about his own work. He was not opposed to an excuse to put it down. (“Someone thinks they have a  _ “hot take” _ on your original Jaeger Code” Newton had laughed scornfully handing the journal over earlier that evening. Hermann had been skeptical about how “hot” any “take” could possibly be on a relatively simple decade’s old AI code. Now halfway through the article he remained unconvinced.) Hermann quickly measured whether it would be more unpleasant to pay attention to Newt’s story, or continue to read.

“… is that so.” he finally said without looking up from the journal.

“Yes! Precursor Steve. And Kaiju Coder Bill.”

Hermann put the journal down and met Newt’s grin with an icy raised eyebrow.

“That’s impossible.” he said.

“ _ Is _ it impossible?”

“Yes! It is! And in any case, I have never  _ once  _ heard you refer to  _ individual  _ precursors by  _ name. _ And even if you had I cannot fathom of two of them named  _ ‘Steve’  _ and  _ ‘Bill _ .’” he pronounced the names like they were exotic swear words.

“So I can’t pronounce their real alien names. Sue me.” Newt shrugged, “OH, also, I’m using masculine pronouns even though They had a very different relationship to gender than we do. Like it’s so different that They were frankly baffled any time it came up.” 

Hermann waved for him to continue.

“Ok.” Newt spread his hands to paint a word picture, “Once upon a time -”

“Oh my god.”

“Once upon A TIME.” Newt repeated insistently, “There was a Precursor named Steve. And he was a total Jaeger groupie. All the other precursors thought he was super weird but couldn’t deny that he was brilliant and absolutely essential to the war effort.”

“And you are ‘Steve’ in this universe?”

“Obviously.”

“ _ Obviously _ .”

“And he had all these dumb theories about the Jaeger, like he thought that they were piloted by humans inside of them. But all the other Precursors were like, that would be stupid and totally inefficient Steve.’ And well... they were right, but so was Steve! And they wouldn’t even give him a  _ chance. _ LIke they’d all go out for drinks and it was always ‘ugh. Don’t invite  _ Steve _ . He’s obsessed with those weird earth Kaiju.’

“The only one who would listen to him was Kaiju Coder Bill. He was really important in using their stock DNA to design new and interesting Kaiju.”

And that’s meant to be… me?”

“Obviously.”

“ _ Obviously.” _

“So Steve would go to him and be like, hey, Bill, we should make Kaiju out of metal - they’d be a lot easier to pilot.’ Or ‘Hey Bill, why do you think all the earth Kaiju are shaped the same?’ And Bill would totally engage! But mostly just for the pleasure of… you know... shutting him down at every opportunity.”

“I do not shut you down at every opportunity.”

“You’re literally shutting me down right now!” 

Hermann scoffed and pretended to go back to reading his article.

“Just like Kaiju coder Bill did to Jaeger Groupie Steve!” Newt poked his side to get his attention. “But it’s ok, because secretly they were huge fans of each other. And it  _ had _ to be a secret because there's not supposed to be like, favoritism in the collective? Like they’re not really a hivemind as such, but -”

“I know, Newton.”

“So. While Jaeger require only 2 pilots, Kaiju require  _ hundreds _ .”

“I  _ know _ Newton.”

“Hermann.” Newt sighed and pressed his lips to his folded hands in what seemed to Hermann a vastly exaggerated display of put-upon patience, “I’m trying to tell you a story and you are seriously harshing my vibe.”

“My apologies.” Hermann deadpanned, “Please. Carry on.”

Newt did not need asking twice. “So Steve  _ begged _ the higher ups to please please please let him on the piloting team for  _ one _ of the kaiju. Just so he could test some of those theories. And the precursors were like ‘hell no Steve! You’re going to get all sciency on us and try to peel a jaeger open to see how it ticks when all we have to do is scratch them until they stop moving!’

“And: ‘Do you know how much energy it takes to open a breach  _ Steve _ ? We don’t have time for your bullshit!’”

Newton was a good storyteller, and Hermann found that he was already smiling fully despite his intention not to listen.

“But then, they found out that Steve was totally right about us piloting Jaeger from inside and then some dumb human drifted with a kaiju brain and they found out all sorts of other stuff that Steve had predicted.

“And so  _ finally _ , they let him on a kaiju piloting team. Yay!”

Hermann half heartedly spun a finger in celebration for this accomplishment. 

“But it was baby otachi! Boo. He didn’t even get to fight or see a weird metal Kaiju. Booooo. BUT he got to meet us! Yay!!!”

“Us as in-“

“Literally you and me. They were still connected to baby otachi. And Steve was there. That drift was like crazy important for their side of the war.” 

Hermann stiffened. “Yes. I know.”

“And Jaeger Groupie Steve was totally vindicated! He was right! About pretty much everything!

“But you know, he was still a total weirdo, so he still wasn’t invited for drinks. Which is why he was  _ home _ when G-Danger went down and blew up. So most of their Kaiju department was wiped out. Leaving him and Kaiju Coder Bill. And a few others. But he was just, all about the Science, you know? Couldn’t care less about taking over the infinite earths or whatever the next phase of the plan was. 

“He was, however, super excited that I was being ‘piloted.’ They let him in on the Newt Hivemind for like a day and that alone set Them back like a month on my conditioning because he was so excited and such a human obsessed weirdo. He told me that since drifting with us he’d been dying to ask what pineapple pizza was and how tattoos work.”

Hermann slowly turned and removed his glasses to glare directly at Newton. Newt held up his hands and answered the accusation before Hermann had time to level it. 

“I swear! I swear on the handwriting of god!”

Hermann sighed and picked up his tea. “What about…  _ Bill _ ?” He asked, curious despite himself.

“Oh! There’s the interesting part! That’s why it’s totally alternate universe us: 

“They escaped. Before the war really got out of hand. Before we went over there. They got on a spaceship (super old-fashioned for their kind. It would be like if you and I made an escape by galleon), and disappeared into the stars.” Newt gazed out the window and sighed. Hermann couldn’t help but follow his eyes and admire the clear night as well.

“They’re still out there somewhere.” Newt said wistfully, “The last of their kind. Ready to rebuild a generation of precursors that prize science and love over conquest.”

Newt sighed and took his glasses off in preparation for sleep. “You know. I really think we would have been friends, Precursor Steve and I. If, you know, our species hadn’t been mortal enemies.”

“Didn’t you say that you  _ were _ Precursor Steve?”

“Oh! Yeah.”

“ _ How? _ ”

“The universes are full of mysteries, Hermann. Come on! It’s totally us!”

“Even if the story you’ve just told me is true those two are  _ not _ us. We have already established that while  _ we  _ are bound by the restrictions of time, space and dimension - creating the possibility of other versions of the same people,  _ They  _ were not.  _ They  _ were both homogenous and ubiquitous. If we were precursors in one universe, then we would have been the same precursors in every other universe. So, it can’t possibly be us, Newton. Despite the similarities. Even if it is a true story.”

Newt kept his face completely impassive - a neutral expression that even after years, Hermann could not read. 

Hermann studied him closely to see if this would be the time he finally cracked it. “…  _ is _ it a true story?”

“No absolutely not” Newt said immediately, “I am one hundred percent fucking with you.”

Hermann momentarily considered throwing his teacup at Newt’s head. He decided against it. “I have never hated you more than I hate you in this moment.”

“Finally! FINALLY!” Newt cackled “You called me on my bullshit!!! Oh my GOD. I thought the vampire one would do it for sure!”

“What was the point of that ludicrous exercise?” Newt was laughing so hard he couldn’t answer, further incensing Hermann’s irritation “How long have you been embellishing these tales?”

“Few months.” Newt said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. 

Hermann huffed. 

“There was one where I couldn’t tell if it was a memory of another universe or a really  _ really _ weird dream and when I told you, you didn’t react at ALL. So I kept making stuff up to see what I could get away with.”

“To what ends?”

“At first I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Then I wanted to see how far I could take it. Turns out precursor stuff is your limit. Noted.” 

Hermann was silent for a moment. He hadn’t realized that it had been so obvious. “To be perfectly honest,” he said carefully, “I have, on occasion, tuned out some of your universe-hopping tales from the drift.”

“Why?”

“Because… Newton. They don’t always… put me in the most pleasant state of mind.”

Newt nodded tersely. “Sorry. I didn’t even think... Well! Goodnight.” And with a perfunctory middle-age-marrieds kiss on the lips got into a sleeping position and turned off the lamp on his side of the bed. Hermann thought about going back to his journal. However it was clear that the conversation was not over. 

Once you drift with someone it feels like there’s nothing left to talk about. But Hermann had learned from experience that still, it was necessary to talk. He reached over newt and flicked his light back on. Newt did not sit up. But he didn’t pretend to sleep either. 

“Why do you feel the need to tell me these stories?” Hermann said, gently. 

“Because I owe them my sanity.” Newt said frankly. As though he’d had the answer ready to go for the moment Hermann ever decided to ask.

“I… see.”

Newt rolled over and sat up. “They were using me to find the most useful versions of us - well, most useful version of you, I guess - right?”

“Right.”

“That was the goal, but it wasn’t the only goal: It was supposed to be torture. To let me see what I was missing. What I was so supremely fucking up every time I hooked up.

“But that’s the thing: They failed. It wasn’t torture. It’s weird, but there... I felt more like myself because in there because They didn’t have the reins. Another version of myself did. So yeah, I still wasn’t in control, but I got a look at what my actions looked like without them in my head. And I got a look at you. 

“And I know it’s fucked up and I know that maybe that’s partly how they were able to keep me hooked more strongly, but… It reminded me of who I was without Them. I guess I just want you to know that you were helping me. Even when things were at their worst. Even when you weren’t really there”

Hermann didn’t know what to say. Newt seemed to take his silence as condemnation and laid back down and rolled onto his side,facing away. “Telling you the stories” he finally said, “helps me feel like that 10 years wasn’t just hell and wasted time.”

Hermann finally set aside the tea that he was still holding for some reason, and properly laid down beside Newt. He wrapped an arm around newts middle and settled his nose into the nape of his neck. They laid like that for so long Hermann wasn’t completely sure whether he was awake or not when he said “I don’t think it’s ‘fucked up,’ of you to try to find joy in these memories.” Newt stirred and twisted to look back at him. Ah. So they were still awake. Hermann continued, “But it’s difficult for me to do the same. Forgive me. If I had told you sooner we might have collaborated on some solution. But we can do so now.”

Newt was so close Hermann had to pick one eye to make eye contact with. 

“I just won’t tell you about them any more. It’s fine.”

Hermann twisted his jaw side to side, considering, “I don’t know that  _ that _ is the right solution. It’s just another example of how we must continue to take care with one another.”

“Right.” Newt grumbled, “god when did we both become so high maintenance?”

Hermann squeezed his middle in reply, “when a hostile alien hivemind took control of your body and manipulated us both leaving us with the emotional well being of a plate of scrambled eggs.”

“You don’t need to-“

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Hermann interrupted him before he could finish - knowing what he was about to say. “Who else would have me?” 

“Right.” Newt huffed again. “We’ll get there Herm. I promise. It’s  _ us. _ We always get there.”

“Obviously”

_ “Obviously” _

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Avelera after a flight. Apparently it made her laugh.


End file.
